I'm feeling horrible. I think the fact that this long holiday is almost over and I have to get back to school is starting to hit me. This holiday, I spent a lot of time with my family, mostly my dad cos he is always at home. After bumming around so much, I'll have to move into hostel next month. I'm feeling really overwhelmed and having a sudden urge to cry. Everything is moving too fast and I can't keep up. Normally when I'm feeling like this, there is always this one person I can turn to. My boyfriend. But now that the relationship has ended, there isn't someone out there I can pour out all my troubles to. I feel that I have no made use of this holiday to prep myself properly. Inside, I'm still broken, I'm still lost. The fact is that I have not found myself, nor have I found my confidence. I'm still filled with insecurities.

I love my friends and I'm just so sad that they will not be joining me in NTU. The people I'm gonna meet are going to be so different from them. I don't think I will be able to find someone close to me in NBS. They are all nice people but there is no one I can relate to. I'm going to miss my family. Only left with weekends to spend time with them. I'm starting to realize how I'm really not suited to go overseas to study. Though the lifestyle abroad might actually suit me better, I just cannot leave without my family. They are truly my pillars of support. I love them dearly and hold them close to my heart. I wish I could return to the time I was in USA for my vacation. Everything seems so simple and I felt at peace. Just enjoying the time together as a family.

Crap, just one day before camp and I'm overwhelmed by emotions that I'm currently in the emo phrase. I really hate camps now. Starting to think that I really shouldn't go for hall camp sigh :/ It's gonna be a tough 3 years..