Sports Camp

So my dear boy is currently at Sports Camp, and disappeared entirely from the face of the earth. The only time I get replies from him is dead in the night at 2am - 4am in the morning. And last night, I didnt sleep well at all. Because my body kept waking me up every two hours, and I checked my phone just to see if there is a reply. It makes me feel so pathetic about myself though. Through this almost two days, I learnt that sitting around missing someone hurts a hell load. It's okay if he is still texting me on a regular basis, but he isn't because he is a camp leader and he needs to LEAD people and engage people. Okay, I totally get it. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck to be the one waiting around. I have never in my life felt this intensity of longing and love. And I fear that it is driving me to the verge of insanity. At the same time, I can't help but wonder if the roles were reversed, would he feel the longing and desperation I feel now? I normally would be okay if it weren't for the fact that I am leaving for exchange in two weeks. Two weeks. And sports camp robbed half of the time away from me. Thank you Sports Camp, you really really suck.

He told me that I should be supportive, like how he was during my run for Sports Sec. And looking back, I'm kind of ashamed of myself. He was always there to hold me, every single time when I have a breakdown on the amount of things piling up. Always there to pick me up and hug me and assured me that everything would be okay. But it is different. I don't even get a "Good morning" or "Good night" text from him anymore. I miss him so much, I really really do. I have 5 more days before I get to be in his warm embrace again. To spend a short week together, then off I venture to Europe without his presence with me for five whole months. 23 weeks to be exact. I think the amount of longing I feel at that time would be enough to drive me crazy. How is it that he is so calm in all of this? I can't help but wonder, does it mean that he loves me less than I do him?